When Christian Friends Let You Down

Has another believer hurt you, failed you, or let you down? Do you sense that you have hurt or failed another believer? Here are some resources to help you think Biblically on this topic.

“From the competitiveness of the disciples for a place of honor in the kingdom, to tension between Mary and Martha as to how to best serve Jesus. From the rejection of Christ on the cross by his own Father, to the divisions that wracked the New Testament churches. The Bible puts before you account after account of people just like you dealing with the same things you do as you live as a sinner, with sinners, in this fallen world.

Why do we have these gritty stories in the Bible? Because God wants you to know that you are not alone in what you experience. And not only are you not alone, God wants you to know that you are not left to your own wisdom and your own strength. The One who is your wisdom and strength subjected himself to the harsh realities of relationships in a broken world so that he would be a sympathetic and understanding Helper in your time of relational need.”
from Relationships: Can You Relate?
Paul Tripp at Paul Tripp Ministries, Inc.

“…even though mere human beings are fickle, finite, fallen, fallible, failing friends, while Jesus was never-failing, Paul cherished such imperfect human friendship. Jesus never intended that the enjoyment of his presence would replace the enjoyment of the presence of other Christians. Christ did not die to create isolated worshipping individuals. He died to create Christ-exalting friendships. That is, he died and rose again to create the church.”
from He Stood By Me and Strengthened Me for the Sake of the Gospel
John Piper at Desiring God

“I think what one has to remember when people ‘hurt’ one is that in 99 cases out of a 100 they intended to hurt very much less, or not at all, and are often quite unconscious of the whole thing. I’ve learned this from the cases in which I was the ‘hurter.’ When I have been really wicked and angry and meant to be nasty, the other party never cared or even didn’t notice. On the other hand, when I have found out afterwards that I had deeply hurt someone, it has nearly always been quite unconscious on my part.”
C.S. Lewis in Letters to an American Lady

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11

“…we should keep our eyes fixed on Jesus who was abandoned by all 11 of his apostles, and was denied by Peter. Then he built the church on them! We look to Jesus not only because he was the great model of holding onto friends who let him down, but also because he died and rose again to be the joyful bond of broken and restored friendships.
So keep Jesus before your eyes, and pray this into your heart: ‘Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends’ (1 Corinthians 13:7–8). Whatever you do, don’t let the failure of your Christian friends become the basis for abandoning the one Friend who never fails.
from More Thoughts on Friends Who Fail You
John Piper at Desiring God

“We must call to God. We must pour out our heart to him. We must ask for his mercy on this relationship. We must pray for forgiveness for our own sin and a spirit of forgiveness toward others. We must bring our questions, our confusion, our hurt, our pain, our guilt, and our indecision over what to do next to the God who saves.”
from Q&A: How Do I Handle the Pain of Broken Relationships?
Carolyn Mahaney at the Girltalk Blog

“…if we are resistant or hesitant to treat those who have hurt us in the way that God requires, we must ask him to help us repent from any remaining bitterness in our hearts.”
from What Do We Do When Former Friends Do What They Do?
Carolyn Mahaney at the Girltalk Blog

“Friendship is a significant category in Scripture, and we must hold it in high regard. If we pretend that certain sins don’t have a devastating effect on a relationship, we deny what Scripture says about the meaning of friendship: trust, loyalty, honor, truthfulness, constancy, and sacrificial love.”
from A Few More Thoughts on Forgiveness
Carolyn Mahaney at the Girltalk Blog

“Of course, we can’t resolve every conflict. Some opponents truly are ‘dogs’ and ‘evildoers’ (Phil. 3:2), ‘enemies of the cross of Christ’ (Phil. 3:18). There are times we must stand firm in the Lord and not budge against such opponents (Phil. 4:1). But Christians must not treat other Christians as opponents. We’ll be together with the Lord for eternity, so Jesus would have us get a head start on learning to live in his peace.
from 7 Steps to Conflict Resolution
Peter Krol at The Gospel Coalition

“The life of Paul, we might say, became a series of one conflict after another — and each one a catalyst for the ongoing progress of grace.”
from Conflict is an Opportunity for Grace
David Mathis at The Gospel Goalition

“While we aren’t required to be close friends with all believers, God does ask us to do whatever we can to live “peaceably” with each other (Rom. 12:18). You can’t change someone else’s heart or actions, but it may be possible to ease the strain of a tense relationship on your end by cultivating these three habits of compassion.”
from 3 Things to Do When You Can’t Get Along
Lindsey Wagstaffe at Lies Young Women Believe

2 thoughts on “When Christian Friends Let You Down

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s